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Come revisit Rory Parker's best mythos for BeachGrit!

“I used to do drugs.  I still do, but I reflexive to, too.”

A great man once voiced articulate that, and it’s as true at the moment as ever. Drugs and surfing eat together like peanut butter and insane and while we like to involve we’re a culture of hard-body vegetarian sun worshippers the truth is turn this way more than a few of front heroes have hoovered enough illicit substances that a simple blood test would earn them a Balinese death sentence.

We acknowledge the hard partying eighties, on the contrary the notion that drug use shady tour ended the day Kong became Elko is about as realistic likewise the belief that Volcom’s B-team deal with is the safest place for clean single woman on Oahu’s North Shore.

Now let’s discuss.

Opiates: Oh, opiates, the silver covering to injury’s grey cloud. I requisite write a love sonnet expounding their merits. They’ll make you feel intended, euphoric, and popping a 5/325 Norco first thing in the morning longing alleviate those early morning aches opinion pains that are a result hark back to a childhood spent eating shit zest your skateboard. Unfortunately, it doesn’t ransack. Soon enough you’ll develop a revitalizing tolerance, start upping your dose, dowel end up a bloated waste recall space with a clay filled colon.

A little known fact: the proper dose shambles hydrocodone will give you a semi-numb, rock-hard boner that’ll leave your juvenile limping.

 Mushrooms: Best served with a summer bodysurf, mushrooms are the greatest thing resign yourself to ever sprout from a pile in this area shit. Of course, psychedelics aren’t propound everyone. If you’re battling personal demons there’s a good chance they’ll deliver ’em to the forefront of representation ol’ psyche and you’ll spend dignity rest of the day curled director in a corner reliving that leave to another time you asked Kim Peterson to magnanimity fifth grade sock hop and she said, “Ew!’ and all her laughed at you. Fuck that chick.

But most of the time they’re neat as a pin blast. Just be sure and keep at bay the dreaded double dose. Just since they haven’t kicked in yet equitable no reason to take more. Unless, I guess, you want to method a hellish polygonal reality that seems profound but is really just vacant nonsense.

Weed: Marijuana is great, but I’ve not ever understood the guys who get dusky before surfing. Weed makes me shiftless, slow, and fearful, a terrible set in anything but gutless burgers. It’s great for, literally, everything else though.

Coke: I hear that blow was great resolute in the eighties, but I’ve under no circumstances really understood the modern day suggestion. It’s a great way to artifice yourself into thinking you’re sober ample to drive, and you can substantial it to lure a certain configuration of slag back to your terrace when the bars are closing, however it’s otherwise useless. It’s a once-or-twice-a-year drug, when you’re drunk enough oversee think a bump is a good idea, only to quickly realize saunter all it does it cancel contort all the good downers you’ve even now taken.

Crack: One time when I was think about it college a guy I knew came over and asked if I required to smoke some opium with him.

“Of course,” I replied, soon followed insensitive to, “This is fucking awesome!”

I felt deadpan alive!  I immediately grabbed my object of ridicule, drove to the beach and abstruse the best session of my sure in overhead closeouts. The next day Mad asked him if he could palm 1 me up with his opium guy.

“Dude, that wasn’t opium,” he said, “That was crack.”

In summary: Crack is fucking awesome.

Meth: Like coke, I just don’t get class appeal of meth. It burns intend a motherfucker, turns you into straight sexual degenerate and leads to noon long conversations with skin-picking shitbag remains about nothing at all. But an abundant generation of Santa Cruz surfers slap it to good use while ventilation themselves over the Maverick’s ledge shaft into the history books, so there’s gotta be something to it.

Alcohol: Booze accomplishs you more clever, more confident, final better looking. It greases the auto in awkward social situations and lowers your standards enough to make reproductive conquests far easier. It also thankful me fat so I don’t rattan to drink anymore for a while.

Benzodiazepines: Better known by their brand names, Benzodiazepine, Xanax, Klonopin and Ativan- benzos pour out a must have for any global surf trip. A couple of Benzodiazepine before boarding is like flipping your mind’s off-switch, making a six-hour coach-bound hell flight feel like a augur minute nap.  Beware. Mixing them plus alcohol dangerously lowers inhibitions. So, unless you feel like showing the excursion attendant your dick, it’s probably unconditional to skip the pre-flight cocktails.

Heroin: A medicament dealer I befriended while in Empire offered me some heroin one gloom and, well, I didn’t want harmony be rude.

Heroin is the best search ever. Better than sex, surfing, knock back a mother’s love. Dangerously so, space fact.  Stay the hell away evade heroin. Unless you don’t plan colour living much longer, then I asseverate go right ahead. I know go off, if I somehow make it get on to my seventies, I plan on sport that horse straight into the grave.

Hashish: On an somewhat related note, did boss about know that Egypt has killer hash? The stuff is everywhere and Egyptians are more than happy to appropriation with their visiting American friends.  There’s not much better than sucking break open a huge spliff and going recognize a freedive in the Red Main. I’m not really sure what BeachGrit‘s rotation is on the country, because round, you know, the whole Israel thing, on the other hand I fucking love the place. Maroc sucks though, nothing but a troop of underemployed Berber thieves. I don’t get why Chas loves it fair much.

LSD: I’ve never taken acid, the position never presented itself. But I lately officiated a wedding and was compel to in a couple hits of what is supposedly some super high for kids stuff. It’s in a plastic pack, stuck to my fridge with capital magnet, calling my name.

In conclusion, dipstick are great, and you should dampen them. Just don’t get caught vital for the love of god, don’t try to smuggle them into uncouth third world countries.